SHITTY NEWS FOR SHITTY TIMES
Issue #75 /2025
Forecast
Sunday, 16 November 2025
Residents of Gutter Trash Alley first began noticing an unusual spike in rat sightings a few weeks ago, and the problem has only intensified since. In response to growing concern, I sat down with Dr. Javier Corleone to get clarity on what exactly is happening—and what the community can do about it.
According to Dr. Corleone, the medical staff has already begun distributing flu and hantavirus vaccines, as the presence of rats increases the risk of both illnesses. “We’re trying to fight it… but it’s very hard,” he explained, noting that the health teams are doing what they can to mitigate disease spread.
When asked about the sudden surge in the rodent population, Dr. Corleone dismissed the idea of deliberate placement. Instead, he pointed to a mix of environmental factors: no garbage collectors making their rounds, food left exposed in and around trash bins, and a lack of cats—a surprisingly crucial part of the natural balance.
“If there are rats, it’s because there is food,” he stated plainly. The slums have been hit the hardest, which tracks with areas more likely to have overflowing trash and inconsistent cleanup.
For those seeking ways to protect themselves and help curb the infestation, Dr. Corleone offered practical advice:
As Gutter Trash Alley continues to grapple with the rat problem, it’s clear that community cooperation—and a few more cats—may be our first line of defense.
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Hello,
I am Annabelle Cox and it is my priviledge to be the representative of Trailer Park residents.
My job is to make Trailer Park better, improve your life, help you and our community
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
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Trailer Park Represent
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This is Uncle Lust, Downtown Representative. I’m the man to come to if you’re a resident in downtown area and i’ll make sure your voice is heard. Talk to me, tell me your problems and i’ll do my best to make them go away.
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Downtown Representative
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My name is Cristyna, and if you live in Gutter Trash Alley Uptown area, then I will do my best to make sure your voice is heard, your needs are met, and your life in Uptown is great
Do you have questions, do you have issues, or you just want to say “Hi”?
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Uptown Representative