SHITTY NEWS FOR SHITTY TIMES
Issue #68 /2025
Forecast
Saturday, 04 October 2025
Sensitive Case Files Potentially Compromised
The Gutter Trash Alley Police Department is investigating a highly unusual and deeply concerning break-in that occurred two nights ago. According to Police Commissioner Ivy, intruders used a helicopter to infiltrate the station, bypassing normal security and leaving the building severely compromised.
Commissioner Ivy confirmed that the server room was broken into and digital records may have been stolen. In addition, her personal office was targeted, and case files relating to an ongoing double homicide investigation involving local pizzeria owners could now be in jeopardy.
“This wasn’t a random act,” the Commissioner told the Gazette. “There’s money, planning, and organization behind this. We are working to determine exactly what was taken and who is responsible.”
The department faces additional challenges as all CCTV footage of the event was deleted, effectively erasing the only direct evidence investigators might have had. Without video records, leads are scarce.
Authorities, however, are pursuing possible connections to a newly emerging gang presence in the city. Commissioner Ivy noted that officers encountered an armed individual in Little Tokyo the day after the break-in. The suspect was seen carrying a Kalashnikov rifle but managed to evade capture. While no official link has been established, the timing and circumstances have raised suspicion.
In light of the breach, Commissioner Ivy is urging the community to remain vigilant and report any unusual activity.
“If anyone saw or heard anything during that night, we need you to come forward,” she emphasized. “Public cooperation is critical at this point.”
The police department has not released a timeline for when further updates will be available. The Gazette will continue to monitor this developing investigation closely.
Gutter Gazzette
Did you like this article ?
Click on a star to rate it!
0 / 5. Votes: 0
Gutter Trash Alley Oxygen Gym is your one stop to fitness and SML system work outs. Located in the beatiful Uptown District, this Gym is open and free to all citizens and visitors who wish to keep up with their shape, fighting muscle, or riding muscles.
Workout like a pro, gain new levels in SML , get in touch with our Trainers or become one yourself, and set up a standard for body fitness that everyone will envy
Hello,
I am Annabelle Cox and it is my priviledge to be the representative of Trailer Park residents.
My job is to make Trailer Park better, improve your life, help you and our community
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Trailer Park Represent
Hey there,
This is Uncle Lust, Downtown Representative. I’m the man to come to if you’re a resident in downtown area and i’ll make sure your voice is heard. Talk to me, tell me your problems and i’ll do my best to make them go away.
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Downtown Representative
Hello,
My name is Cristyna, and if you live in Gutter Trash Alley Uptown area, then I will do my best to make sure your voice is heard, your needs are met, and your life in Uptown is great
Do you have questions, do you have issues, or you just want to say “Hi”?
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Uptown Representative