Gutter Trash Alley

GUTTER GAZZETTE

SHITTY NEWS FOR SHITTY TIMES

Issue #49 /2025

Forecast

Almost a bad day

Wednesday, 23 April 2025

An Arsonist At Large!

Let me start from the beginning.

 

It was early, 6:30am SLT, the kind of morning where the city was just rubbing the sleep out of it’s eyes. I was in my office, knee-deep in paperwork, when I heard it. Screams. Sharp, high-pitched, panicked.

 

I bolted outside, instincts kicking in, and what I saw sent a chill straight through me.

 

There, in front of Dolly’s Spa, was a figure wearing a motorcycle helmet to hide their identity, and mercilessly hurling Molotov cocktails into the storefront like it was some kind of war zone. Flames erupted almost instantly, licking up the walls, glass shattering from the heat. The arsonist had a female voice, I remember that clearly, sharp and wild, like someone unhinged.

 

Riding by in a car, I seen a man I recognized to be Rey Latino. He was laughing and said, “What are you doing, woman?!”

 

Does this suggest Rey Latino knows the female arsonist? It seems plausable, although, I can’t be certain.

 

And then, I heard her.

Dolly.

 

Her unmistakable, bimbo-pitched screams echoed from inside. It was horrifying. She was trapped.

 

I didn’t hesitate.

 

I sprinted around the back, smashed my way into her rear entrance (the rear door of her spa), and found her curled on the floor, coughing through smoke. “Follow me! Now!” I shouted. She stumbled on her glamarous platforms, but somehow, we made it out just before the flames consumed the backroom entirely.

 

Dolly was burned, and barely conscious. I didn’t waste a second. My phone was dead, so I took her straight to my nearby news agency and stashed her safely in the backroom. Only once we were sure the coast was clear did I take her to Mercy Hospital, urging the nurse to call the police immediately.

 

With Dolly finally in safe hands, I returned to the scene.

 

But the fire… it raged on.

Hours passed before a single firefighter arrived. One man.

 

Captain Sephael Devir.

Normally a Police Captain, but in the absence of any real fire crew, he stepped up. Drenched in sweat, flames reflecting in his determined eyes, he battled the inferno alone. His wife watching her husband go toe-to-toe with a wall of fire. No doubt very worried. Nearby, bystanders sat frozen. Not helping. Just… watching.

But who could blame them? This wasn’t your average blaze. This was a terror attack.

And Sephael? He was a goddamn hero.

At the scene, a man who I now know to be Dr. Javier Corleone, the director of Mercy Hospital, was eager to say a few words.

TimothyCoxx: Dr. Corleone, did Dolly suffer any long term injuries?

Javier Corleone: As you know, Mr. Coxx, patient health is confidential, but we can assure you she is receiving the best care to ensure full recovery.

TimothyCoxx: When the arsonist is captured, what do you think should happen to them?

Javier Corleone: As always, we expect those responsible to pay the consequences! But… sometimes, those responsible also pay to avoid consequences.

TimothyCoxx: Doctor, are you suggesting there’s corruption in the city?

Javier Corleone: You know how it is. People talk. Criminal gangs have deep pockets and deep pockets buy silence.

The doctor suspects this was a gang hit. A message. A warning.
But something doesn’t add up.

Why Dolly?
She’s beloved. She runs a spa, not an underground casino. She’s bubbly, sweet, a little ditzy, but harmless. Unless…
Unless this wasn’t about money.
Unless this was personal.
And that voice, the arsonist’s voice, it was definitely female. Perhaps someone jealous of Dolly’s beauty?

 

By now Captain Devir had been joined by another fire fighter, whos name I didn’t manage to get. Perhaps some will recognize him from the picture –

The whole ordeal was finally wrapping up, and I figured I’d nab a final interview from a bystander whom was leaning against her motorcycle. She became angry at me recording, so I didn’t quite catch her name.

TimothyCoxx: Ma’am, do you have any words to say. Do you know who the arsonist is?

 

xxx: no i’m just concerned for my dear friend inside, Sephael, good recruit is with him, usually always alone as firefighter

 

xxx: now sorry i don’t give you permission to film me, so if kindly can stop record, thanks

 

TimothyCoxx nodded quickly as she spoke. “Uh, alright. Ok. Have good day, Ma’am.”
[11:29] TimothyCoxx: Thank you for your words.

 

That about wraps it up. Thank you for being a reader of Tim’s Telegraph. Please keep Dolly in your thoughts, and send some good energy her way. She needs it after what she went through today.

Picture of TimothyCoxx

TimothyCoxx

Tim's Telegraph

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