SHITTY NEWS FOR SHITTY TIMES
Issue #38 /2025
Forecast
Sunday, 30 March 2025
The recent floods in Gutter Trash Alley have sparked concern among residents and authorities alike, with some pointing fingers at the city’s vast computer server farms as a potential contributor to climate change.
According to scientists, climate change can cause extreme weather conditions such as droughts and flooding. However, a recent study found that the demand for electricity from Second Life computer servers has been
increasing rapidly in recent years, putting additional pressure on carbon-producing power stations.
The study also revealed that many of these server farms are located in areas where there is little to no wind or solar energy available, making them more reliant on fossil fuels. This dependence on nonrenewable sources of energy has led some experts to believe that the increased demand for electricity from Second Life computer servers could be contributing to climate change and causing extreme weather onditions such as flooding in Gutter Trash Alley.
Despite these concerns, many residents are still hesitant to make any drastic changes to their daily lives or business practices. However, with the rising temperature levels and increased frequency of extreme weather conditions, it is only a matter of time before significant action must be taken to mitigate the effects of climate change.
When asked for comment on the issue, the Mayor’s office declined an interview, citing that they are currently focused on addressing other pressing issues within the city.
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Jᴀᴍɪᴇ Vᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴏ (jamie.azalea), a highly qualified professional firefighter with over 10 years of experience, has been appointed as the new fire chief for Gutter Trash Alley. Mayor Dee is thrilled to have such an experienced and dedicated leader at the helm of the state-of-the-art department, which will be responsible for protecting one of the most economically challenged areas in the country.
Mayor Dee expressed her gratitude to Jᴀᴍɪᴇ Vᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴏ (jamie.azalea), saying, “She has a wealth of knowledge and experience that is sure to benefit our community immensely.” Mayor Dee also said that she looks forward to working closely with Chief Vᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴏ as they work together to build a strong and effective fire department for Gutter Trash Alley.
Chief Jᴀᴍɪᴇ Vᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴏ (jamie.azalea) expressed her excitement at the opportunity, saying, “I am honored and privileged to have been chosen to lead this department. We have an incredible team of firefighters who are dedicated to serving our community, and I look forward to working with them to ensure that we provide the highest level of service possible.”
The mayor also announced that they were looking for new volunteers to staff the department. She said that they had a limited budget but could always use more hands on deck. Anyone interested in joining should contact the fire station immediately or visit their website for more information.
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Gutter Trash Alley Oxygen Gym is your one stop to fitness and SML system work outs. Located in the beatiful Uptown District, this Gym is open and free to all citizens and visitors who wish to keep up with their shape, fighting muscle, or riding muscles.
Workout like a pro, gain new levels in SML , get in touch with our Trainers or become one yourself, and set up a standard for body fitness that everyone will envy
Hello,
I am Annabelle Cox and it is my priviledge to be the representative of Trailer Park residents.
My job is to make Trailer Park better, improve your life, help you and our community
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Trailer Park Represent
Hey there,
This is Uncle Lust, Downtown Representative. I’m the man to come to if you’re a resident in downtown area and i’ll make sure your voice is heard. Talk to me, tell me your problems and i’ll do my best to make them go away.
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Downtown Representative
Hello,
My name is Cristyna, and if you live in Gutter Trash Alley Uptown area, then I will do my best to make sure your voice is heard, your needs are met, and your life in Uptown is great
Do you have questions, do you have issues, or you just want to say “Hi”?
Send me an email or contact me in Gutter Trash Alley.
I am always happy to hear from my neightbours.
Uptown Representative